Saturday, March 10

Nobody Likes A Ham

Last night Agent Yellow and Number Ten met. Although I was hoping the conversation would revolve around me, they mostly discussed meat products, a topic about which I know very little. I pretended to listen while I tried to formulate a joke about their first meating, how I had a lot at steak, didn't want to fowl anything up, et cetera, but I decided I would regret it later.

My plan for the day is to reorganize my expanding file folder and, if I have time left over, water my desk plant. Also this weekend, Yeller and I intend to make ourselves T-shirts with rub-a-dub markers. To tell the truth, I'm feeling a little pressured by this project. What phrase do I want immortalized on a T-shirt? I mean, once the rub-a-dub hits cotton, there's really no turning back.

"Crap, Did I Unplug the Toaster?"?
"Make Room for my Distension"?
"I Shot Old Yeller"?


Anonymous said...

My vote is for(even though you apparently aren't asking for our votes anymore) Yellow's pick up line, which I cannot write on this blog because I cannot repeat it in the company of ladies. Of course, that might be a reason that you shouldn't put it on a shirt. So how about this, write out as many good sentences from a Fyodor novel as you can fit on a t-shirt and then everywhere you go people will stare at you and you won't have to wonder why they are staring at you, because you will know: they are staring at you because they, like, love Dostoevsky.

Melanie said...

Ah, well, a T-shirt label I am going to have to go look for is the one I saw in a catalog awhile back:

"Be nice to me or I'll put you in my novel!"

Such a friendly piece of advice. So non-confrontational. Seeing how I am working on one (aiming at 2 or 3 - nothing like applying that MHC over-achiever inclination), this is something I could really mean. And it would get a lot of wear!

It's a little like one of my favorite lines emblazoned on a board above the door of a local restaurant:

"Be nice, or leave."

Good advice wherever you may be!

Happy shirting!

~ Melanie

Pol Pot said...

For something to emblazon on a t-shirt, you could do worse than "NON-NERDS DON'T PLAY KICKBALL." There is a double negative, of course, but "NERDS PLAY KICKBALL" would admit the possibility that some non-nerds might occasionally join in this dubious pastime.

Pol Pot

Anonymous said...

how about "oatmeal, yum"

Faith said...

Melanie, I don't know who you are, but you should read/listen to (I am lucky and have a copy of him reading it) Odgen Nash's "I must tell you about my novel." I think that's a good tshirt idea. Should I know you? I am really stupid when it comes to names and faces so if I am being rude, I really and truly apologize. Actually, you should read as much Ogden Nash as you can, because he is delightful.

Once, when I was a small child at summer camp, I wrote "I survived my family vacation" on a tshirt. I was a playfully sardonic broad even then.

I will be trying very, very hard not to squeal with excitement for the next few days. Just so you know.

EnoughFigCookies said...

Faith, you will miss meeting Melanie in Vermont by mere minutes, I fear.

Faith said...

blast! foiled once again!

you know, I think that "foisted" is really just "foiled" and "hoisted" at the same time.

Anonymous said...


I'll go with your etymology suspicion. Sounds applicable in certain situations, for sure!

A pity I won't get a chance to meet you. *humphs* Maybe some other time on a hunt for fresh maple syrup! (Make sure you add some to your oatmeal, EFC - yummy!)


Faith, I don't suppose you have that Ogden Nash in a MP3-type file? If so, would you be willing to share it? Sounds great! And yes, O.N. is a fine person to enjoy the works of!

Also, I am the "secret agent woman" from a class out of MHC's past...*makes ghostly wind-whoosh noises*. Luckily not so long ago that computers didn't exist on campus, but...Ask EFC to tell you how we met. *grins*