One of my favorite things about being two months into medical school is that I get e-mails like this one:
"So, I went to the doctor today, and on the way out she gave me an at-home stool sample kit.
I have no problem with [going] into a plastic bag, really, but my question is: I mean, #2 isn't exactly an on-command thing for me. I can't just make the magic happen right before I go back to the doctor's office. I mean, what if I'm constipated that day? So presumably I would have to do it in advance. But what do I do with a plastic bag with [excrement] in it? I mean, I don't really want to keep it on my desk. I don't want to keep it on my little bookshelf by the door where I keep my keys (so I don't forget!) And I really don't want to keep it in the fridge. So tell me, Fake Doctor:
What does one do with a bag full of poo?"
My answer: What doesn't one do!