Thursday, October 30

Aging Is Scarier Than Halloween... Just Ask Ten

This morning at the Dan and Whit's I bought three huge bags of candy. Now I'm ready for my first adult Halloween ever. Of course, I'll probably just stick the candy in a bowl on the front walk, turn on an outside light, hide upstairs and study. With a costume on, don't get me wrong.

Saturday night Ten and I are going to Brattleboro, home of Vermont's strongest and proudest nudist movement, to meet Gollywobbler and her new girlfriend, who just happens to be a physician, for dinner. (God, I love commas.) I can't wait to pass judgment on Dr. New. Neither can Ten.

A week from tomorrow I am going to New Orleans for my grandparents' 80th birthday party. I'm looking forward to seeing my parents and brother. Also sharing a bathroom with them, since the house is being worked on. (Since on the house is being worked?)

I'm 24 and Ten is now 30. This rocks. She is old. Gray. Wrinkled. Wears a shawl. And she must also be getting senile because yesterday we had this conversation:

Ten: Achoo, sniff, sniff, achoo, cough, sniff.
EFC: Did you say something?
Ten: I hab a cold, EnubFibCookies.
EFC: I'm too tired to be sympathetic. And my name isn't EnubFibCookies.
Ten: Yes it is. E-n-u-b-f-i-b-c-o-o-k-y-s.

Without ruining my bloganymity, you can imagine what an errantly placed "y" can do to my (real) name. Also my mood. I asked Ten if she was joking about the misspelling. She laughed nervously.

It's been 1 year 8 months and 7 days. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect my name to be spelled correctly at this stage in the game. If Ten can prove to me that she has a DMS-IV diagnosable learning disability, I will start talking to her again. (Probably.) But first she's going to have to cut out all that hacking and sneezing.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

On commas... In my part-time copy-editing job at the university, I'm constantly (read: passive aggressively) at war with the managing editor about appropriate comma use. She is convinced that commas - even when, in some sense, correctly applied - can become "visually burdensome" for the reader. She's really into leaving out the comma in constructions like this: "In 1948, he said..." Can you believe it?

But don't worry - I'm fighting the good fight. (Passive aggressively: by editing with a dull pencil and consuming all the free tea in the office.)

So... I guess this is a really long-winded way of saying that I, too, love commas.


-lj

EnoughFigCookies said...

LJ, you're so cool.

Anonymous said...

That comma lj insists on having after 1948 in the example is unnecessary and too many commas do become burdensome, to the reader.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, your comma before "to the reader" is entirely unnecessary. In fact, I'd venture to say it's used... incorrectly.

EnoughFigCookies said...

Also, there should be a comma before "and", first anonymous. (Were you joking?)

Anonymous said...

I should say that I do think that inserting a comma after "In 1948" is debatable. The trend seems to indicate that the use of a comma in constructions like this one is on its way out. I was just emphasizing my love of commas...

lj

EnoughFigCookies said...

I, like, the, comma, after, 1948.

Faith said...

Please forgive Ten. Dan, after all, still is not 100% sure about my birthday, despite having been my boyfriend for nigh on 8 years now. (He does remember in time for the actual birthday, but his philosophy is that 11 months out of the year, he doesn't really need to know the precise date).

Anonymous said...

Please also remember that commas belong INSIDE quotation marks!!