Wednesday, December 10

I Could Buy Your Senate Seat?

I thought if I gave this blog post an exciting title you might keep reading in the hopes that I'll do something other than complain. (Sorry. Not this time.)

This has been the dankest, rankest term ever. There are only 12 more days of it, and I think I can make it. The term ends only a couple of days before Christmas, so getting presents in time is going to be a real challenge. I hope friends and family will be satisified with lightly worn Smart Wool and old New Yorker magazines.

Today I've been studying personality disorders. You know what that means: it's self-diagnosis time! Woo hoo! Fortunately in the last couple of days I've moved past Parkinson's, lymphoma, early-onset Alzheimer's, vitamin B12 deficiency, and my abdominal aortic aneurysm. Now it's clear that since coming to medical school, I have become soooo Cluster C.

Avoidant personality disorder: Avoidant patients are generally very shy. They display a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to rejection. Unlike patients with schizoid personality disorder, they actually desire relationships with others but are paralyzed by their fear and sensitivity into social isolation.

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder: People with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder are markedly preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control. They lack flexibility or openness. Their preoccupations interfere with their efficiency despite their focus on tasks. They are often scrupulous and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, and values to a point beyond cultural norms. They are often stingy as well as stubborn.

I think I finally have an answer to the question of why I can't make any friends.

The only reason I was so down on pulmonology last term was that I didn't yet know how horrible hematology is. Forgive me, pulmonology. I didn't treat you fairly.

I am reading *There's Nothing In This Book That I Meant To Say* by Paula Poundstone. Ten thinks that I've become obsessed with Paula P. How dare she diagnose me like that.


Anonymous said...

If one of your professors can provide convincing reasons why people like you and I ought not to believe we have early-onset Alzheimer's, please let me know. Maybe I can stop buying ridiculous amounts of fish pills when the agonizing fear strikes me every 4 months or so.

Also, I can attest to the fact that hematology is awfully dull (remember when I was an editor for *Blood*?) But on the upside, you'll probably see some very beautiful microphotographs of blood cells.


Faith said...

I think "being a grad student" should just be put in the DSM already. I mean, really.