My First Post From A Moving Vehicle

Actually, T-Babe's parked. I'm sitting outside the Howe Library waiting for it to open. (I had to mail a letter and hit the bank before I came here, but somehow it didn't take the full 25 minutes I had allotted for it.) This quiz weekend has seemed particularly long. Perhaps that's because Ten hasn't been available to quiz me on bacteria over the phone.

Speaking of Ten, she will return to the safety of Vermont this afternoon. I plan to skip school Tuesday and go up to Burlington Monday night for a mid-week weekend. While there, I will make use of my federal tax refund and get a hair cut.

Anyway, Ten's trip out west sounds like a real dud. I asked her to tell me about the Grand Canyon, and Mount Rushmore, and the Las Vegas strip, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and all she could provide were details about birds and cacti.

My Notes From Pathology Class

My Birthstone is Jaded

Last night was the OSCEs. Basically you're stuck in an exam room with an SP (standardized patient) and you have to motivationally interview him/her. And you're being watched by faculty. And you're being videotaped. Once again, I forgot to wash my hands before the physical exam. Despite last semester's virology class and this semester's bacteriology, I still can't seem to get myself to believe in germs.

Ten weeks until summer. It's exciting, but in a way, I think I am going to miss all of the pre-quiz nightmares, and the lonely, panicked cramming, and having my errors videotaped.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

When the Ten's Away, the EFC Will Pla.... Study

Ten leaves for Arizona tomorrow. She and her mom are going bird watching. I feel like I should say something satirical about this vacation, but I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers.

Last night we met up in Montpelier and did the same thing we always do in Montpelier. We walked around for a couple of hours asking, "What do people do in Montpelier?" Then we got Ben and Jerry's and finished a crossword puzzle, so I guess we finally answered that question.

When the night ended, we said goodbye as though we would never see each other again. It was all very over-dramatic and lovely. To maintain an enjoyable level of drama, I returned to Hanover and visited the CVS to get a bottle of ear wax remover. But I looked for ten minutes and couldn't find it, and I was too embarrassed to ask the CVS clerk to help me. (I'm sensitive about my bum ear.) Can anyone suggest to me what aisle I should look in next time?

Anyway, Ten's absence leaves me with a free Norwich weekend or two on my hands. Tonight I will make tofu and try to study something. Tomorrow night I am going to really live it up and go to the pathology lab with Ameless and KnickKnack. I would take photos, but I fear it is going to be too scandalous. Sunday I will eat the rest of the tofu and try to study something.

Retinoscopies and Rain

Greetings from cloudy Charlotte. This afternoon, Ten and our friend Allegory will submit to my unwelcome touches while I practice my physical exam skills on them. For how simple the skills are ("wash hands" and "listen to bowel sounds") you wouldn't believe how hard it is to remember everything. Next Wednesday I will be evaluated as I perform the same procedure on Even Wheel.

Afterward, to recover our respective bruised dignities, we plan to cook a feast of borscht, spinach lasagna, asparagus, and popovers. I guess I'm a little nervous about the borscht, since I have a bit of a history of overbeeting. Rumor has it that some Apples to Apples might make an appearance.

In other news, TBF is considering moving back to New Orleans. That's an exciting prospect. Hair in Louisiana has certainly taken a turn for the worst since TBF evacuated.

Introducing Even Wheel

Today I received this e-mail from one of my classmates.

"If I put together any study guides, I'll blitz them your way. It doesn't seem like we have all that much material to study for this quiz, but I probably feel that way because I didn't go to any of the lectures or do any of the readings!

-Even Wheel"

I'd say that that, in a sentence, sums up spring semester of medical school. However, Even Wheel doesn't give herself enough credit! There is photographic proof that she went to class at least once this semester.

You're Stool The One

Most of the time medical school ain't so hot, but every once in a while you come home after a hard day of classes and have an envelope from the friendly American Gastroenterological Association awaiting you. Inside? A brochure entitled "Managing: Chronic Costipation."

Yes! There's even a "Symptom Tracker" section where you can "describe your bowel movements using the Bristol Scale below."

I look forward to studying the brochure the next time I'm sitting in frustration on the toilet.