Memorial Day

You couldn't ask for a prettier Memorial Day here in Dubs-R-J, Vermont. Today's plans include studying, not napping, buying a long extension cord so I can vacuum my rig, and buying some groceries.

My grocery list never changes. Here it is: 5 ready-tomorrow bananas, 1 carton of vanilla soy milk, 1 four-pack of cottage cheese, 1 box of Kashi hot cereal (any flavor but raisin spice), 1 cucumber (which I always intend to eat but never do), 6 cans of soup (specifically Wolfgang Puck tomato basil and Amy's no chicken noodle), 1 container of herb salad mix, 1 box of Triscuit rosemary and olive oil crackers, 1 twelve-pack of pomegranate Polar seltzer water, 2 Lake Champlain milk chocolate bars (which I always intend to eat and always do), and 1-2 Amy's vegan frozen pizzas. I could successfully work my way through the grocery store blind at this point.

I spent this past weekend in the Adirondacks, eating Ten's dad's soup, napping, and helping Ten's parents move the living room furniture. It was fun. And I learned something new about Ten: she becomes quite the dictator when it comes time to rearrange a room! Castro of the cushion, if you will. Salazar of the sofa. Future ruler of the Ottoman empire, I think.

I suppose I'm just going to let her handle that part of our relationship (along with car repair, home repair, banking, laundry, cleaning, cooking, pet duties, and making the bed).

I have been so sleepy lately!! Surely Ten's parents think I'm a slacker because every time I start to study I doze off. I can't figure out what's going on. I'm getting enough sleep each night, but I wake up every morning feeling like I could sleep for another four hours. I think I have a neurodegenerative condition, but Ten thinks I'm just lazy. (Who does she think she is? The Stalin of sleep? Mussolini of motivation?)

In other news, my lap top sounds like a helicopter landing, and I fear its days may be numbered. Why does it seem like the more expensive an item, the shorter its life? I'm starting to regret having cost my parents so much money all these years...

I'm Halfway Through!

I'm done with second year! I finished my last final Saturday afternoon and sped up to Charlotte to spend the rest of the weekend with Ten. Par usual, she put me to work weeding and planting and raking in the sun. I should have told her my exams ended Sunday.

I thought Ten knew that the end of my second year was a big deal for me, but all she did was put up streamers and buy me flowers and serve me champagne and write me a nice card and take me out to dinner. Some people are so unfathomably self-centered.

The next hurdle: the B-O-A-R-D-S, also known as Boards-Originating Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I took a sample test today and I failed swimmingly, so I clearly have some work to do.

Also, well done, blog readers! I'm quite fond of Spastic Colon. Any ideas what our first cover should be? "Colon Me"? "The Wipe Stuff"? "Whoop, There It Is"?

Hello From Renal Conference

My renal conference leader sure likes to talk! And the more he talks the more confused I get. So now I'm purposefully not listening and nodding my head and smiling occasionally to be polite. (I learned how to do this in church.) Today is my second to last day of class! Alright! It's going to be a good day because Ten bought me an artichoke for my dinner. Does anyone know how long ones boils an artichoke? I'm sure it's an art, and I don't want to choke.

I'm super surprised at how tight this week's poll is. Thanks to all of you for your continued participation.

If you have 15 spare minutes, listen to Dan Savage's piece on This American Life.

Guns Suck

Currently, an estimated 34.5% of households have a gun, while 24% have a handgun.

In 2004, firearms were used to murder 56 people in Australia, 184 people in Canada, 73 people in England and Wales, 5 people in New Zealand, and 37 people in Sweden. In comparison, firearms were used to murder 11,344 in the United States.

In 2006, nearly 9 children and teenagers, ages 19 and under, were killed with guns everyday.

In 2007, there were only *198* justifiable homicides by private citizens using firearms in the United States.

For every time a gun is used in a home in a legally-justifiable shooting [note that not every self-defense is legally justifiable] there are 22 criminal, unintentional, and suicide-related shootings.

Good Night!

Yesterday I got a hair cut. (I knew my hair had grown too long because Ten was starting to like how my hair looked.) My hairdresser provided me with a cut that perfectly frames the 8 or so gray hairs that come out right in the middle of my forehead. (Well, not right in the middle of my forehead. Oh, you know what I mean.) I really like the look because I appear wise and old. (Not as old as Ten, but she's t-h-i-r-t-y, after all.)

Ten's and my parents are going to meet at Thanksgiving! I'll be hosting here at the WRJ condo. While most children worry about their parents embarrassing them at such events, I think Ten and I are more worried about embarrassing our parents. (Yes, we are considering wearing matching cornucopia-inspired outfits.)

On Monday and Tuesday of this week I got 1 IV put in, 3 Tb tests, and 3 phlebotomies. I'm like a voodoo doll. Except hopefully not as creepy.

Saturday night Ten and I are hosting a dinner party. We will serve vegetarian chili. In addition to making the chili, Ten is going to vacuuum my living room and go grocery shopping for me. (Ten! Pick up the Beano!)

I am so happy with the results of the latest poll (since I'm planning on going to bed in fifteen minutes.) It was close, but I am vindicated. Yes, I go to bed at 8:01. Judge me if you wish, but the majority of my blog readers think it's fine.

Monday, Bloody Monday

The wedding in Charleston was fun, although Ten and I were by far the least cool people there. (I think that's something we have to get used to. Or at least Ten does.) Ten was a wonderful bridesmaid, and I was a wonderful ridesmaid (I rented a Chevy Cobalt and transported the bridal party this way and that), and aside from a 6-hour flight delay getting down there, everything went swimmingly. (We didn't do any swimming. But I did put Ten on my back and carry her across a rivulet, and don't think I let her forget that for the rest of the weekend.)

Today I learned how to put in an IV (hence this post's title.) There are more steps than I thought there would be. Fortunately, this afternoon was most likely the first and last time I will perform that act in my medical career. (There are teams of nurses who specialize in IV insertion. Doctors don't really know how to do anything.)

Life consists in what a [person] is thinking of all day. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Weekend Trip

I'm off to South Carolina! Or, as the locals call it, SoCo. (I actually have no idea if the locals call it that.) Ten is a bridesmaid in a good friend's wedding in Charleston, and somehow she convinced me to fly down there for 48 hours.

Ten tells me that we're staying at a big house on the beach with the rest of the bridal party. Clearly a lot of studying will be accomplished this weekend. I have a feeling that I'm really going to fit in in SC what with my Smart Wool socks, politics, and snow white skin.

Last night I got four hours of sleep. This is precisely five hours fewer than I'm accustomed to. I hope I don't blow up at a TSA employee.

By using the words "blow up" and "TSA" in the same sentence, I bet I just got on some sort of government list. Yay! I'm finally dangerous!