EnoughFigCookies

2011-04-20T06:19:00.000-04:00

I HAVE BEEN A TERRIBLE BLOGGER

2011-04-20T06:12:00.008-04:00

Dearest Blogreaders,

I am so sorry for the lapse in time since my last post. And so much has happened!

- Ten and I matched to the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor) - our first choice! We celebrated by going out to lunch and then driving to Farmway and buying $200 worth of SmartWool socks.
- We went out to Ann Arbor a few weeks ago and found a house we adore. The sellers just accepted our bid and we are due to close in late May. Eek!! And, Blogreaders, there's a guest room!
- Eerily enough, the sellers moved to Ann Arbor (and into the house we're buying) 42 years ago from CHARLOTTE, VT, where Ten lives! (Population: about 3-4000)
- Ten saw a fox and 5 kits outside her window a couple of days ago, so now Boo is an exlusively indoor cat.
- Boo's p!$$ed that she doesn't have a blog name. Literally. She's been peeing extra hard.
- Ten and I are pretty sure that we're going to take a pre-wedding honeymoon. Stay tuned for details.
- Two more weeks until our big Southern Plantation Extravaganza in Louisiana, hosted by my wonderful parents.
- Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF9-sEbqDvU
- I have three more days of medical school. THREE MORE DAYS!
- For graduation, Ten bought me a new computer, a Dell 14R (blue). I love it so much. I may decide to marry it instead of Ten. (J/K, Ten! Thx 4 da gift.)

With sincere apologies and embarrassment,

EFC

Look What Came In The Mail Today!

2011-03-02T12:56:00.000-05:00

A Request

2011-03-01T09:51:00.004-05:00

Please vote on the new T/F poll at right. I'm very curious as to your responses.

Your word of the day:
sitzfleisch(SITZ-flaish, ZITS-)(n): The ability to sit through or tolerate something boring.

Cord-En-Bleu Attacks

2011-03-01T09:48:00.001-05:00

This Is Where Ten Works

2011-02-28T06:22:00.003-05:00

And this is why I'm nervous about her quitting her job for little old me.

2011-02-27T16:54:00.003-05:00

Those of you have been to my condo know that Ten likes to greet me. My refrigerator is covered in greeting cards, and I'd say I get a new one every two weeks or so. Anyway, I was spacing out, staring at my fridge the other day, when I realized that I had a number of cards following a certain theme. See if you can figure it out.

Welcome, 2011!

2011-02-25T06:18:00.003-05:00

It has been brought to my attention by several well-meaning blog readers that I haven't posted since 2010. Here we go!

Fourth year medical students' rank lists were due this past Wednesday at 9pm. At the risk of letting everyone know that I didn't get my first choice come March 17, here's my first few ranks:
1. Michigan (Ann Arbor)
2. UNC (Chapel Hill)
3. Wisconsin (Madison)
4. UVA (Charlottesville)

Saturday Ten and Allegory and Cord-en-bleu and I went to Topnotch Spa & Resort in Stowe for a full Spa Day, complete with treatments and poolside drinks. I had never been to a spa before, and I was surprised by a number of the unreasonable rules, such as the prohibitions on stuffing handfuls of extra toiletries in one's bag and on peeing in the jacuzzi. The best part was that my masseuse had the same voice as Paula Poundstone.

Did anyone see Donald Rumsfeld on The Daily Show on Wednesday night? Through his lies and dissembling, he was almost... likable.

Wednesday was Ten's and my four-year anniversary. Four years! It feels like forty. Forty long, grueling years.

Would anyone like to buy a charming end unit in Vermont? I know of one for sale.

Good riddance, DOMA.

2010-12-23T17:21:00.002-05:00

Greetings from Louisiana! I am sitting in the living room with my parents drinking a ginger-flavored alcoholic beverage care of my mother whilst stealing their neighbors' wireless waves. There are two dogs with seven legs sleeping on the floor next to me.

This morning I went to see my dentist, a person I had not seen in almost exactly three years. To my great surprise, I had no cavities or gingivitis to speak of (?through), likely due to my new campaign of flossing during my daily morning shower. Ten doesn't like how I hang my used floss on the shower curtain rod, but I told her if that was her biggest problem with me, she was lucky. She said that wasn't her biggest problem with me.

Tonight I am going out to dinner with TBF. Can't wait.

In other news, I got contact lenses last week. It took me a good ten minutes to get them in the first time, and I cried profusely afterward. I asked my optometrist if new users usually had so much trouble getting them in, and he said, "usually just teenage boys."

I have almost all of my interviews done; only a preliminary year interview in Cooperstown, NY, and a neurology interview at UNC Chapel Hill remain.

2010-11-19T17:20:00.000-05:00

Today was the end of my radiology elective. I am not proud to admit that I didn't crack a book the entire month, what with interviews and stuff, but I am happy to say that I scored in the 80s on my final exam with a 50% guess rate. Sometimes things just work out.

After my exam I picked up my interview suit at the dry cleaner's and went to my friendly local New Hampshire liquor store where I bought a bottle of Riesling. I am now status post 1 glass and feeling like I'm on vacation. My next elective starts in January. In between then and now I only have to deal with one thousand interviews.

One of my interview dates is so situated as to allow me to attend the MHC Vespers, about which I am thrilled.

I have an interview in Providence, RI on Monday and then a day to kill in Providence on Tuesday while I await the arrival of Ten and her mom. (Any blog readers in Providence?) The three of us are flying en masse to D.C. to celebrate Thanksgiving with my 'rents and 'bro and other family members.

In other news, for my birthday I received, among other gifts,:
- crossword puzzle pajamas from Gollywobbler
- a ticket to Aimee Mann (it was ah-maz-ing)
- Earth, by Jon Stewart
- an ipod speaker system for the wedding
- a roller suitcase for interviews
- the cutest card ever from my mom
- $27 from my brother
- pistachio brownies from Allegory

2010-10-20T05:13:00.002-04:00

Sitting under my light box again.

My UVM interview is tomorrow. Tonight I'm driving to Burlington to have dinner with some of the residents. Friday Ten and I are going to Portland, ME, for the Northern New England Neurologic Society Meeting, which I've somehow convinced her to go to with me. It's Ten's birthday weekend. She's going to be thirty-two. Thirty-two!

Rocky and Chlo-Boat and I had a wonderful weekend. They arrived with a list of topics to talk about, and that's a wonderful feature in a weekend guest.

2010-10-15T05:20:00.003-04:00

Rocky North and Chlo-Boat are coming this weekend! Our primary plan is to not eat fiddleheads.

I already have 12 residency interviews scheduled! I'm going to be flying like a bird this fall. My first one is Thursday at UVM. I have the best of accommodations in a sweet little B&B in Charlotte.

I am sitting in front of my natural light box right now.

Ten and I have become addicted to Six Feet Under.

2010-09-24T11:24:00.002-04:00

Wednesday I flew to Philadelphia for my Step 2 Clinical Skills exam. I stayed in a Sheraton near the testing center, and I was given a Club Level room. This meant I had a computer in my room, free bottled water, and access to a lounge with free sodas and h'orderves. Pretty swanky. I made good use of the room, too, since I wasn't able to sleep secondary to nerves. The exam went fine, as did the CK section Monday, so now I'm officially done with Step 2. Yay!

Tomorrow is Shelburne Farms' Harvest Fest. It's also (hopefully) the day I submit my residency application.

Right now I'm watching Stephen Colbert testify before Congress live. Weird.

2010-08-26T06:00:00.003-04:00

Two more days! Yay!!!!

I bought a new airline ticket so that I can stay in Louisiana for two weeks instead of one. I can't wait to see my parents and my dogs. I also can't wait to see Number Ten tomorrow night. It feels like it's been months.

2010-08-21T15:26:00.007-04:00

Yesterday my mom informed me that if I didn't post to my blog I was going to be in trouble. This is a threat which she can actually carry out since I will be flying home in 1 week. So here I am. Hello.

I haven't updated because I haven't had anything particularly amusing or happy to write. (And I've been very busy.) Actually, I've been feeling some ambivalence about my chosen career path, and since it's rare for anyone in medicine to admit to weakness or error, it's an emotion I've been dealing with pretty much alone.

There are very few happy people in a hospital. It's pretty much by definition a place that people don't want to go to. You walk by people crying every day, so often that you hardly even notice them anymore. There's a breakdown of politeness which is precipitated, I imagine, by people being overworked and not seeing enough sunlight. People are rude to each other. You feel your personality changing. Your friends, without realizing it, try to show you up and you, without realizing it, return the favor. The image you had of healing and understanding and helping seems naive. Your day is frantic. Every minute you spend with a patient is a minute you're not using to climb the mountain of paperwork that's waiting for you. If your patients talk too slowly or are too anecdotal you resent it. And, if you're me (I), you feel inferior, self-centered, wrong, and stupid all day long.

I'm going to wrap up my day off by reading the Saturday paper and doing the crossword, so that's happy-making. I'll see Ten in 6 days and my parents in 7 days and TBF in 8 days, and that's very happy-making. And I'm alive and healthy and, as my dad says, it's not raining shit, so things are going okay all in all.

In other news, The Green Zone is skippable. David Boies vs Tony Perkins is more entertaining.

It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than "try to be a little kinder." -Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963) (His brother was a neurophysiologist.)

2010-08-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

I'm marrying a statistician!

Grade Performance Summary:
On the cumulative final exam, administered August 10, Number Ten scored 102%.
Ten's grade component averages are 100% for homework assignments and 98% for tests for an overall average of 98.5% (A+).
Congratulations to Number Ten on a consistent and excellent performance throughout this course. Not only did she create her own success but she helped at least one other student achieve improvement with informed coaching.

2010-08-08T16:25:00.002-04:00

Well, Route 52's wedding in Wappingers Falls, NY, was the stuff of legends and definitely the most enjoyable wedding occurring in NY state last weekend. My legs remained sore for 5 days after such intense dancing.

It has been legitimately cold in White River Junction, VT. COLD! AUGUST! Ten and Boo are visiting for the weekend, which is pure bliss.

Today Ten and I went blueberry picking (at a place where you pay by the honor system) and to a flea market in Orford, VT (why is it called a flea market?) where I bought nothing and she bought two old keys and a hot dog. Then we ate two-day old Indian food and took naps by the pool. Now she is studying for her statistics final and I am updating my blog after farrrr too long.

Right now I am pretty much living for late August when I will have my next weekend with Ten and then will fly down to Louisiana to visit my parents.

Here are some places Ten and I might be living next year:
- Burlington, VT
- White River Junction, VT
- Worcester, MA
- Charlottesville, VA
- Madison, WI
- Providence, RI
- Denver, CO
- Ann Arbor, MI
- Boston, MA
- Hartford, CT

2010-07-04T08:51:00.003-04:00

Required Step 2 Clinical Skills testing day in Philadelphia

Exam fee $1055
Recommended lodging at Sheraton $249
Southwest airfare $179
Parking at Manchester airport $20
Gas to and from Manchester airport ~$50
=$1553
And this is not counting the over $500 to schedule the other part of Step 2, Clinical Knowledge.

What a racket.

2010-06-28T12:26:00.002-04:00

Today was the first of two days of the mock interview course. I woke up early, donned and defuzzed my wretched black suit, and arrived at the hospital 30 minutes early for my 10am neurology interview. Even though it was a practice interview, I was experiencing a good deal of anxiety/trepidation. Well, it was all for naught, because at 10:45 my interviewer still had not shown up. I guess part of going into neurology is dealing with people as absent-minded as yourself.

I'm On Vacation!

2010-06-24T07:37:00.004-04:00

Well, sort of. There are some classes still to attend and some mock interviews still to do, but for all intents and purposes, I'm on vacation! I don't know that I've ever needed a vacation more in my entire life. Yesterday I treated myself to a 60-minute massage, and I'm only feeling slightly guilty about it.

This weekend I head to Newburgh, NY, for Route52's bridal shower. (!) That's all I can say about that. Yesterday I got my dress for Route52's wedding tailored. By a gruff but efficient Vietnamese woman who clearly doesn't care if I exhale during the ceremony.

On Tuesday evening Ten and I are headed to Martha's Vineyard to visit her parents. Plans include parasailing (her mom's idea!), swinging in the hammock, and gaining 1 pound per day, care of her daddy's delicious cream-based soups.

As for my 4th year:
July: neurology sub-internship
August: internal medicine sub-internship
Sept: month off to visit my family and take the boards
Oct: radiology elective
Nov: pediatric neurology rotation in Burlington
Dec/Jan/Feb/Mar: no idea
Apr: geriatric and ambulatory medicine
May: freedom! and then marriage

2010-06-17T18:41:00.000-04:00

2010-06-17T18:39:00.000-04:00

2010-06-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

I am burnt out. Not the kind of exhausted burnt out where you could still potentially become interested in something, but the kind of burnt out where someone could levitate across the room past you and you would barely lift your eyes from your computer screen. I hope this attitude problem resolves before my neurology sub-internship starts in 2 weeks. At least I'll get a three-day summer vacation in between.

Dropped and broke my cell phone today. Four months until my New Every Two, and the cheapest Verizon cell phone is $199. Have just discovered Skype with Ten. I'll be using it until Friday when Ten gives me an old cell phone of hers. Guess what my Skype name is?

Four more days of Pediatrics. Praise Heaven, Hey, Seuss, and all the saints.

The Sick Patients Are The Cleanest Thing About Being On Call

2010-06-10T14:10:00.002-04:00

2010-06-03T05:56:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I compiled a most excellent atheist/agnostic music mix. If you would like a copy, send me an e-mail! Some of you will be getting one anyway.

I was on call Tuesday night, so June has already felt longer than the entire month of May.

This Is What Ten Does At Work, Take 2

2010-06-01T19:18:00.001-04:00

A Tribute To Doctor Decker

2010-05-28T10:35:00.002-04:00

During my first couple of weeks at DMS, I met up with the "big sib" that DMS had assigned me. Through some inexplicable act of fate, my big sib and her partner wound up being my very favorite people at DMS. Throughout the years in med school, S-Deck has been a veritable font of excellent advice and wisdom, some of which I will post here for future DMSers who may be so unfortunate as to stumble across this blog:

1. First year is awful.
2. Second year is better than first year.
3. Second year is awful.
4. Third year is way better than first and second years.
5. Third year is awful.
6. Fourth year will make you want to die.
7. Don't lose hope.
8. After second year you will lose the ability to sit down and study for even 2 consecutive hours.
9. It says a lot of good things about your character if you fail to high pass your surgery rotation.
10. You are not as unintelligent and lazy as the rest of your class makes you look.
11. Go to Stern's in WRJ for ridiculously cheap produce.
12. Think thrice before purchasing a text book.
13. At the end of fourth year you will feel like a failure: no kids, no hobbies, friendships decaying, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt. It's okay.
14. You will match.

I'm going to miss you so much, big sib.

2010-05-27T22:15:00.004-04:00

Hokay. I am nonplussed as to the new blog color scheme. Thus far there is a dead tie among yes, no, and fine.

Outpatient peds ended today! Yay! Thus far this rotation has been so cushy that I fall asleep each night feeling guilty. Some things about pediatrics:

1. I have completely lost my desire to have my own children.
2. The next time a parent declines a vaccine for their child I am going to say, "Sounds good to me! I'm going into neurology, so meningitis equals job security."
3. If I get another URI I am going to throw in the towel. The snot-covered, tear-stained towel.
4. I was peed on today. Male infant, no diaper, straight shot to the chest.

This weekend Ten, Boo, and I will be in Keene Valley for our long weekend. My biggest hope is that Ten's parents let me drive the riding mower, at least for a little while. Other plans include a few sets of tennis and a short hike up Baxter.

2010-05-25T10:41:00.002-04:00

Every morning I round at the hospital at 8:30 with a different attending. The attending and I make sure never to address each other directly because neither of us knows the other's name. Rounds finish at around 10:00, at which point I am on my own until 1:00. I have been making use of this time by going to the Panera in Nashua and posting on friends' Facebook walls. At Christmas my mother gave me a $150 gift certificate to Panera; in the last 2 weeks I have almost completely killed it.

Tonight I am having dinner at Macaroni Grill with Rocky South and her new flame in Burlington, MA. From what I hear, I will very much like the new flame.

This past weekend Ten and I stayed at a B&B in Williamsburg, MA, with One Trick Pony and her wonderful boyfriend. On Friday night we went to Packard's in Northampton where I had 2 whiskey sours and spent much of the evening on my beloved soapbox. Being in Northampton was somewhat surreal, and I realized that I miss the area very much. On Saturday we hit the MHC campus for the Laurel Parade, which made Ten and I cry. (The fact that I have found a non-MHC graduate who will actually shed tears during a funny parade involving not a single person she knows makes me feel that I may have found the right life partner.) We got to spend a lot of time with OTP and her boyfriend, and we generally had a fantastic time. I am excited for my own five year reunion, which will occur the weekend before Ten and I wed. (It occurs to me that there have been 4 MHC graduations since I graduated, and I have bene in attendance at 3 of them. Do I need to move on?)

Sunday Ten and I played a couple of sets of tennis (she won, 6-0, 6-0), played HORSE (I won, H-O-R to H-O-R-S-E) went to the neighborhood pool which had just opened, and ate sushi downtown. This was the best weekend in recent memory.

This coming weekend Ten and I will head to Keene Valley to spend the weekend with her parents. I actually get Monday off for Memorial Day, so I'll be able to spend three nights there. Sweet!

Some Updates

2010-05-11T17:43:00.003-04:00

Pediatrics is just about as boring as I had expected. I'm living in Nashua in a 3-bedroom apartment with 4 male roommates. Do I need to express how I feel about this arrangement?

Today my eyes were scanning my preceptor-for-the-day's office and they settled on his bookshelf. The books housed there had the most amazing range of titles that I just had to write them down to share with you. Here's the list:

A Light in the Attic
All the President's Men
The World's Best Dirty Jokes
1983 Auto Buying Guide Issue
England and Scotland on $25 A Day

I have a pounding headache, perhaps secondary to the veritable cornucopia of wailing children I saw in the office today.

Look How Cool!!

2010-05-09T16:51:00.002-04:00

Even Wheel, who is clearly a computer whiz, managed to put the last year of my blog into words. I, clearly not a computer whiz, can't figure out how to make the image larger, so you'll have to click on it to read any of the words.

2010-05-08T13:33:00.002-04:00

Last night Ten and I did something we have rarely done. We stayed up late enough to go out dancing. This morning we slept until 10:00 and have been dragging our sore limbs around the house in a most pitiful fashion.

When we finally awoke we walked down to the corner store where we split a most delicious breakfast burrito, and we've spent the rest of the day catching up on e-mail (Ten) and evaluations (me). One thing they don't tell you when you sign up for med school is that you're going to have to do more evaluations than you ever thought possible. We are forced to evaluate courses, individual lectures, individual lecturers, small group sessions, exams, clerkship sites, and previous evaluations. It is truly onerous. I evalu-hate it.

2010-05-07T09:01:00.002-04:00

Because of ACOG recommendations that women get screening mammograms 10 years before the age their mothers were diagnosed with breast cancer, I recently had my first mammogram. (My mom was diagnosed at 36.) Then I got a bill in the mail for $140. I called my insurance company to let them know that they had made a mistake, that I had dutifully followed guidelines and gotten my mammogram, and the company agent told me that "[they] cannot pay unless you are having symptoms." I said, "Well, right now I have a terrible cough and the beginnings of a headache. Will that work?" Nope, didn't work. "That stinks," I said. "I know," the agent said.

2010-05-06T07:03:00.004-04:00

Yesterday morning, while I was reversing out of my customary parking spot, I hit a neighbor's parked car. Geico told me not to admit blame, but in this case...

The reason I was not on my vehicular A-game was that a tremendous coughing fit had just seized me. I have been coughing a blue streak for 2 weeks, and there's no sign of it stopping. This may be the motivation I need to finally quit smoking.

It's a good thing I have pediatrics next and won't be likely to pick up any more URIs.

This morning, while I was talking to Ten, my phone up and died. That's how foul Ten's language can be in the morning. Looks like I'll be reversing my coughing self to the Verizon store this evening. Ten, you can expect a bill in the mail.

2010-05-04T06:33:00.003-04:00

TBF and K-Dawg's visit was a smashing success. We went to King Arthur Flour, the Norwich Pub at the Inn, the Norwich farmers' market, Queechee Gorge, Woodstock, the Long Trail Brewery, a homemade raft race, a glass-blowing studio, Vermont's most photographed waterfall, Waitsfield/Warren, and the Ben and Jerry's factory.

Tomorrow is my final day of family medicine. Next is pediatrics, which I am, admittedly, dreading. Although I know I used to be one of them, I can't help resenting children for their self-centeredness and questionable, if creative, morality. I'll have to spend the first three weeks of the rotation in Nashua, NH. This is bad because it's Nashua, NH, but good because I'll be only an hour away from Rocky South in Jamaica Plain. What's more, this is the final clerkship of my third year, so I'm just going to burn through this bad boy.

Today I will get my end-of-clerkship hair cut. I proposed letting my hair grow, but both TBF and Ten nixed the idea.

I have to admit: I was hoping the Times Square would-be-bomber would be some crazy, right-wing tea bagger.

Mom and Dad: Please let me know if you want me to fly home and help you wash the oil out of your hair. The dogs too.

2010-04-29T06:09:00.004-04:00

TBF and K-Dawg come to town today! I am very excited. TBF has never been to my condo, nay, has never been to the Upper Valley, so boy does she have a lot to see. Almost an hour's worth of sightseeing lies in store for her.

Number Ten, she of the iron GI tract, has had a 1-week stomach ache that I simply cannot diagnose. It is very humbling. She describes the ache as "a sort of knot, a nervous knot, like when you realize you're making a huge mistake and marrying the wrong person." Searched for this problem on the Internet and came up dry.

This Is....

2010-04-28T04:55:00.003-04:00

... Ten's deck on APRIL 27, 2010.

... how Ten plays basketball.

... what my mom just bought for our three-legged dog

Ouch

2010-04-15T18:16:00.006-04:00

About a week ago I experienced moderate to severe flossing trauma, likely secondary to my own overzealousness coupled with an a.m. time crunch. Now I have a sore in the back of my mouth that hurts like the dickens. My only comfort is Orajel and sleep, both of which, unfortunately, make me drool. I'm certainly not getting any comfort from Ten, who is going on and on about her new sore throat and cold symptoms, hardly allowing me room in the conversation to go on and on about my flossing sore as I've been doing over the last week.

Last weekend Ten and I drove to Brattleboro, VT, to meet up for dinner with Gollywobbler and her partner, EDlightful , an ER doc who is my TV show/blog/YouTube video soul mate. Ten and I had prescreened Brattleboro's restaurant offerings on the World Wide Web, and we found a nice-looking venue in an old semi-rundown diner. When we got there we discovered that the restaurant was so small we had to take turns inhaling. (This made for a stilted conversation, as you can imagine.) We had a delicious meal complete with dead fauna, which of course made Ten happy.

You wouldn't think a meal in a tiny defunct diner in Brattleboro, VT, would be overly pricey, would you? Well, our bill came to almost $300... before gratuity. When the bill came we looked at each other in horror. My instinct was to run, but the restaurant was really too small to escape unnoticed, and Ten was pinning me to my chair anyway. The three others' instincts were to pay up, which we wound up doing, against my better judgement.

This weekend I'm headed to Charlotte where Ten and I have plans to work, work, work, and then see Date Night. At least while the movie's playing Ten will hush up about her cold symptoms. Then I'll be able to whisper about my flossing sore as much as I please.

Mom and Dad, congratulations on selling your old house! But when are you going to let me know your new address? I feel like I've asked you one hundred times! Ha ha!! You just keep forgetting! I mean you've been living there almost 6 months now. Couldn't I at least know the state?!? All the relatives I ask say they've been "instructed not to tell," or some craziness like that. Give me your address already, Mr. and Mrs. Forgetful!!

2010-04-09T18:12:00.003-04:00

Last night Ten went to her first juggling class, which is taught by a Church Street performer. I could put a joke in here, but is it really necessary?

One thing I am going to do this weekend is buy an auto-off iron so that I do not have to call my neighbor from work to ask her to use the spare key to get into my house to check on my iron that I had used that morning which I pretty much knew was off and unplugged the whole time but just couldn't stop thinking about.

2010-04-08T05:46:00.002-04:00

Hoorah! It's Thursday, which means tomorrow's Friday. Ten and I have big plans for the weekend. Well, we have one plan for the weekend: to get our snow tires off.

Two nights ago I texted Ten this message: "I want to break up." It took her a full 7 minutes to call me back because she had "some loose ends to tie up."

GNIRPS!

2010-04-05T04:45:00.007-04:00

Having received rather hostile criticism from blog readers and my mother alike, I see that it is time to update.

First of all, Christ has risen. I awoke at Ten's Sunday morning with a smile, flew out of bed, scurried down the stairs in sockfoot to see what was in my Easter basket, and... discovered that not only had Ten not filled my Easter basket, but she hadn't even gotten me an Easter basket. No basket. No chocolate. No egg hunt. Someone's thoughtfulness needs a little rebirth this spring, if you know what I mean.

Here are some pictures of our Easter meal:

Saturday night, Ten and I went to the Black Sheep in Vergennes, site of one of our first dates. We continue to love going there despite the fact that, immedidately following every meal, one of us suffers intense GI distress.

Looking back, I spent most of Easter weekend on my soapbox (topics: Catholic priests, abortion, proper training of cats, Seventh Day Adventists, watercress), which is my very favorite place to be.

Today begins my third week of family medicine in Wells River, VT. I have learned how to draw blood, do a rapid strep test, talk to county prisoners, attempt a fetal U/S, remove skin tags, perform anoscopy, aspirate post-patellar fluid, do a shoulder injection, and perform cryotherapy on skin cancers. It's fun, minus the rectal exams, which really aren't fun for anyone. Also minus (also minus?) the drive up to Wells River, which is a healthy 45min if one drives the speed one is supposed to.

Would anyone care to know my probable fall/winter schedule? Here it is:

July: sub-internship in neurology
August: sub-internship in internal medicine
September: month off to study for Step 2
October: radiology at DHMC
November: neuropathology at Fletcher Allen in Burlington
December: rheumatology at Tulane in New Orleans and break

This is this blog's 501st post.

This Is What Ten Does At Work

2010-03-12T16:13:00.002-05:00

Tri-Pawwed

2010-03-12T16:11:00.002-05:00

2010-03-05T05:31:00.002-05:00

Yesterday my dog ran into a moving car and now she will have three legs. I will eventually post a picture of what this looks like, but for now:

I'll Opht Out Of This Specialty

2010-03-04T06:45:00.005-05:00

Ophtho: Three days down, seven days to go

Surgery on eye balls is DIS-GUST-ING. Suffice it to say that there is such a thing as an eyelid speculum. EWW! And you actually cut and sew into the eyeball. BARF! And after surgery the "whites of your eyes" are completely red and bloody. YUCK YUCK!

I was not excited to spend all of yesterday in the OR. There is so much to dislike about the OR: how cold it is, how bad your breath smells behind your mask (just me?), OR nurses, the power struggle, shoe booties that barely fit over one's gigantic feet (just me?).

In other news, I have to leave my house in 10 minutes, yet I'm still sitting on my sofa in my pajamas drinking coffee. Bye!

If You Fail to Plan...

2010-03-02T05:18:00.003-05:00

So far ophtho is as boring as the health care bill, but maybe today will be more interesting. It seems strange to me that one would go through 4 years of medical school and then focus solely on the eyes for the rest of one's career.

I think I'm going into neurology. So I'll focus on the brain for the rest of my career, but ALSO on the spinal cord, and that's why neurology is better than ophthalmology. I may work more hours and get paid less, but at least I'll still carry around a stethoscope.

Ten is coming down this weekend. She has scheduled me a haircut Saturday afternoon, which is her way of telling me that my hair looks bad. Last weekend she scehduled me a car inspection, which was her way of telling me that I only had 2 days left in February to get a car inspection.

Next weekend we depart for New Orleans, where we will be from the 13th to the 17th. I'll return to NH for a quick 2-day orientation to family medicine, and then I'm off to Boston for Route52's bachelorette party. Life is exciting! (Except for ophtho.)

The Eyes Have It

2010-03-01T05:48:00.005-05:00

Yesterday morning Ten and I awoke to an ermine in the house! We heroically shooed it outdoors since Boo was too much of a wimp to take care of the intruder herself.

How cute is that? Its fur would look so good lining my puffy vest.

This morning I woke up to a broken heater/boiler. As I've always said, there's nothing like a cold shower to make you appreciate hot showers.

Today is my first day of a two-week stint in ophthalmology. My goals: to actually see a couple of optic disks (instead of faking it, which I've been doing for 2.5 years) and to learn how to spell ophthalmology.

A Good Time Was Had By All

2010-02-01T07:27:00.000-05:00

2010-01-29T15:51:00.003-05:00

In only moments Ten and I are leaving for our big cross-country ski weekend in North River, NY. We've been looking forward to this for months. Unfortunately, the jury's out on whether there will actually be any snow up there on which to ski upon. Back-up plans include catching up on Thirty Rock and planning our wedding. (Does Memorial Day Weekend 2011 work for everyone?)

I did okay on my internal medicine exam. Well, I should say that I did okay on the 85 questions of the exam that I was able to complete. And I did *very well* on the last 15 questions on the exam if the answer to all of them was B.

2010-01-22T05:23:00.002-05:00

I passed the stress test! It was an uncomfortable experience, complete with sweaty electrodes and lactic-acid-muscles.

Today is my last day of internal medicine. YAY!!! I'm going up to Charlotte to spend the weekend with Ten. Tonight she'll go to a talk at the Charlotte Senior Center. (I've declined.) Tomorrow (on our 2 year, 11 month anniversary) she'll cross country ski all day while I study all day.

2010-01-20T05:31:00.003-05:00

Today I am getting stress tested in front of my classmates. Last night I carbo-loaded with a delicious meal of couscous and peas. Dear god, don't let me fail.

Tonight I'm on call. Barf. But it's my last call of internal medicine. SWEET! I will get through it the way I usually do (Gatorade and Ensure).

Sunday I will do something I have never done before. I will sit down and watch a football game on purpose. Details to follow.

2010-01-19T05:42:00.004-05:00

Ten got her wisdom teeth out on Friday. I had prepared her for the worst: 72 hours in bed, only pudding and Wendy's Frosties for a week, Q8 morphine, cheeks like tennis balls. (This was my experience.) The morning after the procedure Ten jumped out of bed, feeling and looking fine, ready to eat real food and run some errands. How obnoxious.

Internal medicine is wearing me down. I am not liking it as much as I hoped I would, considering that pretty much no matter what, I'll be doing a year of it as an intern. I don't think my brain is large enough to hold so much information about disease processes, in addition to medication dosages, etc. I also caught a virus off of one of my patients and spent 24 hours vomiting last week. At least I liked the patient.

In other news, I volunteered to get stress tested in front of my classmates tomorrow. This is going to be embarrassing.

I fixed the comment thing. Let me know if you have trouble, please.

Upcoming events
Jan 30 weekend - cross country ski weekend in ADKs with Ten
Feb 1 - neurology starts
Feb 14 weekend - weekend with Ten and family in Grafton, VT
Mar 13-17 - Ten and I visit my parents in LA
Mar 20 - Route52's bachelorette party in Boston

2010-01-10T17:50:00.002-05:00

Dear friends,
I am sorry that med school makes me so unavailable. It stinks. I love you,
Mollie

HNY!

2010-01-01T16:59:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

I don't know about you, but I for one celebrated this new year by getting a $153 speeding ticket from an unfriendly female cop. And cross-country skiing in Woodstock with Number Ten and Rocky South. And then rushing a food-poisoned Rocky South home from the restaurant where we had our post-ski lunch.

So I think it's safe to say that things did not go as planned today.

Happy HoHodays

2009-12-23T11:05:00.004-05:00

I haven't updated in so long!

Internal medicine is going okay. There is an alarming paucity of jokes/humor/puns among the residents, but maybe that's because they are a little worn out. The ward smells seriously bad, like you-know-what except more you-know-what than you-know-what.

But now I'm on vacation, so ahhh.... I am down in Louisiana at my parents new place with their new dog: pictures to follow. The new place has a balcony overlooking Lake Pontchartrain, and the view and breeze are incredible. I had to clean out my old bedroom, which was made easier by the fact that Felicia has introduced me to the TV show "Hoarders." Have you seen it/heard of it? Good lord! Those people are sick!

For Christmas Ten got me a 90-minute massage to occur at our bed and breakfast when we take our ski weekend in late January. I got her some artwork (guess who made it?) for her to put front and central in her living room or else risk hurting my feelings.

Thanksgiving Time

2009-11-23T06:12:00.005-05:00

On Saturday evening, we fiancees had a dinner party that included FOUR courses. We were practicing for Thanksgiving, and I'd say we did rather well. I made two quiches which were to die for. Ten made a meatloaf which was kind of blah. Boo came downstairs to socialize for a few minutes, about which Ten and I were very proud. She didn't even draw any blood. (We've recently taken the crayons away from her.)

Today I have 3-4 hours of internal medicine orientation and then I'm ON VACATION! Yes!! My parents arrive tonight after flying into Manchester. I have the mints on their pillows and all of my illicit drug paraphernalia hidden away. (At this point, I would just like to boast that I spelled paraphernalia correctly on my first try, despite being a druggie.) Tomorrow, Ten's parents arrive. Excitement is in the air.

Speaking of excitement, my brother sent Ten and me a hefty check to celebrate our engagement in splendor!! He's dear, dear, dear. We are debating how to celebrate. Perhaps The Tip Top Cafe in White River Junction, an establishment we cannot afford.

However, Ten has jury duty today, and if she takes bribes as I've instructed her, we may have in our future a growing list of establishments we can afford.

T_IF

2009-11-20T09:16:00.004-05:00

I have lost the ability to sit still in class and listen. For instance, I'm in class right now. My new hobby is walking up to my classmates with a tube of Mentos and offering one while saying, "Do us all a favor." I'm good at making friends.

Now I am surrendering the keyboard to my classmate Perdodo who is sitting next to me (and who is reading a Dan Brown novel): Haaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Eloquently said, Perdodo. Here's a shout-out to Avneedles, who has recently discovered my blog.

Ten is bringing Boo down this weekend and I get to keep Boo for a week. YES! I've been wanting some more one-on-one time with Boo in order to brainwash her into liking me more than Ten. (It's not hard. I mix treats into her food bowl.) Saturday evening we are having an elegant dinner party: beer and meatloaf. Ten and I are also going to work on our 11x17 Christmas card which all of you will be receiving.

2009-11-16T05:33:00.004-05:00

On Saturday I turned 26 and Ten and I got engaged. Other than that, not much is new.

Regarding the engagement, Ten and I went to Shelburne Farms in the morning to walk the old route we snowshoed back on February 10, 2007. The whole time, all I could think was, "Wow, I was in better shape back then." Then at the Inn, looking out over Lake Champlain, at the site where I had long ago pronounced the h in chasm, we said some prepared words. Mine were excellent. I don't really remember what Ten said, but I'm sure her words were pretty good too. Then we exchanged rings. Then we did a happy dance. Then we went and picked pretty rocks and skipped them across the lake.

Today is my last day of my psychiatry rotation. There are things about psychiatry I will very much miss such as the proximity of my unit to the cafeteria, the dear residents, and the hours. Next up: Internal Medicine!

Hello, Blog Readers!

2009-11-06T07:36:00.003-05:00

Last night I text messaged Ten "I've found someone else. It's over." It took her a full hour and 15 minutes to call me back. Sometimes I don't think she takes me seriously enough.

This is my last day of psych consult, which is good, because I hate psych consult. I'm going to spend the weekend with Ten up in Charlotte. All my dirty laundry is in my car, and I'm ready to leave right after work. This weekend I will be working on a presentation I'm doing on The Othello Syndrome: Delusional Jealousy. See, Route52? You're not the only one studying Shakespeare these days.

2009-11-02T08:10:00.002-05:00

This is one of the best Words of the Day I've ever received:

Acnestis - noun: The part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch

New Diagnoses

2009-10-19T06:39:00.001-04:00

A cute Dress Disorder - the inability to pass up an attractive dress in a department store

Ain’t I Social Disorder - a compulsion to add new friends on Facebook

Androidant Personality Disorder - a compulsion to “do the robot” at each and every social event one is invited to

Buy Polar Disorder - an addiction to seltzer water

Fauxbia - pretending to be afraid of insects/blood/clowns because you want attention

Fender Identity Disorder - the inability to find one’s car in a parking lot

Hamnesia - not being able to remember why the Oscar Mayer package is empty

Menorahphobia - fear of Jewish holidays

Orderline Personality Disorder - even after waiting in line for 5 minutes, one still does not know what he/she wants to order when he/she gets to the front of the line

Panit Disorder - the inability to say anything nice about a movie

Post-Parton Depression - deep sadness following the decline in popularity of Dolly Parton

Skitsophrenia - an intense obsession with Saturday Night Live

Son drowning - like Abraham in the Old Testament, but with a twist

Tomatoform Disorder - a compulsion to lay out in the sun

Stressed Dramatic Post Disorder - a compulsion to make passive aggressive blog posts

Haik You

2009-10-17T18:17:00.001-04:00

We went to the bank
To count our coins. We had
Seven hundred bucks.

2009-10-16T06:28:00.005-04:00

This weekend Ten & I are going to her bank to turn all of the coins we've been collecting into bills. We think that in about 2 years time we have amassed over $500, but we're not positive. I can't wait to see the look on the bankers' faces when we stroll in with 6 heavy yogurt buckets full. They will say something sarcastic, and then I will put my elbow down on the counter, slowly take the piece of hay out of mouth, look past my cowboy hat's brim into their eyes, and say, "It's legal tender, y'all. Ten, go out to the hitching post and fetch me my musket." Can't wait.

Other activities for the weekend include getting snow tires on my car and giving Boo treats when Ten's not looking. The weekend will be cut short early Sunday morning because guess who's on call again.

A Haiku:

Ten turns 31
Next Sunday. A Ten-der age,
That's not, now is it?

Recycling

2009-10-15T20:03:00.003-04:00

I met a traveler from an antique land
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
I and this mystery here we stand
Grains of the golden sand--

To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Was too close, with its breathing and thick hair,
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,--that is all
Still waved on a castle wall.

You feel that you are destined for me
That thus so cleanly I myself can free.
She knows not what the curse may be,
I don’t feel good don’t bother me.

The sun now rose upon the right:
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Down to a sunless sea.

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
Could twist the sinews of thy heart,
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun,
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one.

No time to rejoice for those who walk among noise and deny.
They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I
Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

2009-10-14T16:53:00.003-04:00

Tonight I'm on call,
I don't like this at all.
I'd rather be home,
Reading Al Franken alone.
Instead I must see,
People in the ED.
And if I am able,
I will make them be stable.
But if I cannot,
Another patient I've got.
My call bed has sheets,
That have seen others' feets.
And the shower's got germs
With which I can't come to terms.
I hope the cafeteria,
Doesn't have as much bacteria.
Because that is the site,
I'll be dining tonight.
If my beeper doesn't beep,
Maybe I'll get some sleep.
And if my beeper falls in the lou,
Then I'll get some sleep too.

2009-10-13T16:25:00.003-04:00

Today I stood out, O,
In snow!
And then today O. Snowe
stood out.
She voted,
Dems gloated,
And I said, full-throated,
NowthazwotI'mtalkingabout!

2009-10-12T17:31:00.001-04:00

As I heard the woman
-obese, unkempt, missing teeth-
Say that she perpetually felt so worthless
That she didn't deserve
Air
To breathe,
I was filled with shame
That moments before
I had yawned, picked up my stethoscope,
And said, "Let's go see this good-looker."

2009-10-11T13:11:00.002-04:00

After ninety-six-percenting the Times Sunday puzzle
I went to Ballard Trail to take a walk.
And one could argue
That I should have noticed
The crunchy autumn leaves
And how well the brook had recovered
From Saturday night.
Instead,
I discovered a very good spot
To dump a body.
Why, with all this idle information
I amass,
I still do not know 68 down
("___ Dream" from "Lohengrin")
Is beyond me.

2009-10-10T07:21:00.004-04:00

Wow! A Peace Prize?!?

I've figured out a way to help myself get through this rotation. Introducing... A Poem A Day!

As I asparagus-pee
Into the toilet bowl full of bleach
I think back to chemistry 202 and
Wonder if
I might
Cause an explosion.
And then I think,
This must be a metaphor
For something.
And then I realize
it is not.
And then I ponder,
This remarkable way to leave a building,
Like Elvis
But in flames.

And then
I wipe those thoughts away.

Psych!

2009-10-09T06:15:00.003-04:00

I suppose one good thing about my psychiatry rotation is that it has allowed me to discover the limits of my capacity for empathy. It turns out I don't feel much compassion for patients who are not living in the same place/time that the rest of us are. Here are just a few reasons why this rotation is making me miserable. I'm not saying I'm justified, I'm just saying.

- I am revolted at the site of a healthy 30-something year old man in his pajamas in the middle of the day.
- Two days ago I had a really good discussion with a patient in substance withdrawal; we exchanged jokes, we talked about life, and I felt like we bonded. For the first time this rotation, I thought I had accomplished something with a patient. Yesterday morning he had no idea who I was.
- I think one of my co-workers has an undiagnosed psychiatric illness and this co-worker is very difficult to work with.
- It turns out that psychiatrists sit in a room in front of their computers all day.
- I have observed very little patient contact, just a whole lot of drug prescribing.
- No free coffee.
- Three-minute walk to the women's restroom.

My goal for the past week was not to let myself sink into a depressive episode, and I have succeeded. By watching movies, reading Vanity Fair, and eating pizza. I watched Religulous, a documentary with Bill Mayer about the cruelty/insanity of religion. If you can stand Bill Mayer, it's one to see. I also watched Frost/Nixon, which was okay. Tonight I will have to skip my movie because I am on call (sarcastic Yay!).

Psychiatry Rot Ation

2009-10-06T13:55:00.002-04:00

I am really,really, really not liking my psychiatry rotation. Granted, this is only my second day, but I am really, really, really not liking it. Details on why to follow.

My parents left. We had a great visit: we talked, gossipped, went to Quebec, visited Farm-Way, stopped at the P&H Truckstop for pie, drove through the longest covered bridge in New England, and ate clam chowder at a brewery. We also threw the frisbee and drank our fair share of wine.

Short Updates

2009-09-30T20:17:00.003-04:00

- Today my dad and I hiked up Mount Horrid. (It's really called that.) Then we ate Chinese food and maple candies. Now I am drinking beer and watching The Daily Shows that I missed while living in the hospital. Ahhh...
- My psychiatry rotation and my mother and October arrive tomorrow. I'm excited for all. (Can you believe October starts tomorrow?)
- Tomorrow I also get to start a new novel. Any suggestions?

Rainy Sunday

2009-09-27T16:06:00.004-04:00

Ob/gyn is over! (With the exception of an exam, exit interview, and a presentation.) Tomorrow I will be doing a 10-minute Powerpoint presentation entitled "Lesbian Obstetrics." It's going to be a real nail-biter.

My father arrives tonight! He drove up from Louisiana and visited my brother in NY, NY and now he's visiting me. And my mom arrives Thursday. Over the weekend Ten is driving down and we are going to go apple picking/leaf peeping with the 'rents. I can't wait! This will be the first time my parents have visited me together since I moved into the condo over a year ago. (Mom and Dad? Everything okay?)

Tonight I will make my father a feast of baked potato and apple cider.

Thursday psychiatry starts. I can't wait to diagnose all of my friends! Yay!!! I also want to diagnose why I don't worry anymore - is it my yearly massage? my month living among the Zen Buddhists? the handfuls of anxiolytics I take each morning? It's not doing wonders for my grades, but it sure feels good.

Hello!

2009-09-21T06:57:00.003-04:00

So it turns out I actually *do* have access to the internet in the hospital. I could have been blogging all this time! Drat!

I've moved into an on call room at the hospital. The room has a bed, a table, a TV, a sink, and a toilet. I get all of my meals for free, and I shower at the gym that is attached to the hospital. The gym has free towels, shampoo, and body wash. I only wear scrubs so I don't have to pack clothes. I go three-day periods without stepping one foot outside. I'm like Tom Hanks in The Terminal.

This weekend Ten and I went to the Harvest Festival at her workplace. I discovered my new love: roasted corn. I ate three ears and spent the rest of the weekend with intestinal unrest.

A few days ago I got my surgery evaluation, and I swear to golly that the phrase "socially awkward" was used in my "Room for Improvement" section. Being called socially awkward by a bunch of workaholic surgeons is, well... Of course, these evaluators never interacted with me in a social setting, only in a professional one. And being called "professionally awkward" would, I guess, be worse. (Although I kind of like it.)

A Post-Term Post

2009-08-30T19:30:00.007-04:00

I'm sorry about the long delay since I last checked in! Life has been moving fast, and not just because my mom sent me BRAND NEW ADULT HEELY'S. YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I HAVE SHOES WITH WHEELS ON THEM!!!!! They are brown and super cute and although I still haven't gotten my sea legs, as it were, I am looking forward to skating down the hospital corridors late at night when no one else is around. Look, blog readers. I know you can't help but be a bit jealous (I mean, my own HEELY'S!), but if you are a good friend, and if you are nice enough, and if your feet are big enough... I will let you watch me skate sometime.

I am liking Ob/Gyn in Peterborough, and I've solved the living-in-Keene-with-a-boy-roommate-I-don't-really-know problem by spending two nights a week at the hospital (Monday and Wednesday). I also joined the gym next to the hospital so that I have something to do when I'm on call (i.e. work on my guns, and by work on my guns I mean walk on the treadmill for 4 minutes and then go to the locker room and use the big handicapped shower with its complimentary towels, shampoo, conditioner, mouth wash, and body wash.) I wear only scrubs. I pocket food every chance I get. I am essentially living in the hospital, and I have practically no expenses. Things could be seriously worse.

I am also getting used to pretending like I know what pregnant women are going through. I nod knowingly, ask about Braxton-Hicks contractions, commiserate about morning sickness, tell them not to scoop cat litter, ask if they have a name picked out, measure their bellies, and then send them on their way.

It's amazing how many women don't wait until D-day to find out the sex of their fetus. Are we a generation that hates surprises?

Anyway, this weekend Ten came down and we
- watched Anne of Green Gables, an excellent film with the adorable Colleen Dewhurst
- had a visit from Court-Be-Bort and her entourage; we ate a lovely lunch at the Norwich Inn, complete with 2 rounds of Whistling Pig ale
- met with a jeweler in Hanover (Ten's cold feet are warming up!) (No sales tax in New Hampshire!)
- went for a jog, which ended abruptly after I had a heart attack while cresting a hill (it sure felt like one, and I tried to make it look like how MI's look in movies)
- bought shopping bags full of of fleece outfits at LL Bean and EMS
- tried Saki for the first time (absolutely foul)

I also got a massage, but much to my dismay, I had selected to wear the underwear with a hole in the back around the elastic. (Or do I have more than one pair?)

Last weekend I was in the Adirondacks with Ten, Allegory, and Gollywobbler, and we had a blast. Some pictures to follow.

Quick Post

2009-08-18T20:47:00.003-04:00

Do any of my blog readers live in Keene, NH, because that's where I live now. Well, for 6 weeks.
I scrubbed into 2 C-sections today. Super cool.

More to come!

Surgery Is Over!

2009-08-13T06:41:00.003-04:00

I've hung up my scalpel! After royally failing my third (!) surgery exam yesterday, I drove to Montpelier to meet Ten for dinner. We ate at our favorite restaurant, That's Life Soup, and then went to the famous Dairy Creme (it's not really famous) for dessert. Conversation topics included how train tracks stay in place, if Ten still loves me even though I am just a mediocre med student, racism, and where we intend to meet in case of a national disaster.

This morning I start my ob/gyn rotation. I am looking forward to interacting with people who aren't surgeons. Also, with the female:male ratio, won't it feel a bit like Mount Holyoke?

This weekend I'm headed up to Charlotte. Ten and I are going to do yard work, clean her kayak, sell her kayak, get massages, and go on a long walk.

2009-08-04T04:42:00.002-04:00

Nine more days of this rotation. Wee hee! Yesterday I saw a manual rectal disimpaction under general anesthesia. I think I won't provide any more details about that.

On Saturday morning I came back from call to find the condo vacuumed, my laundry folded and put away, a hot cup of coffee waiting on the counter, and my fridge full of fresh vegetables. It was either Ten or some incredibly welcome intruder (which, in a way, Ten is.) Ten and I picked blueberries, went to the farmer's market, got the Sunday Times, went out to dinner twice, made a vegetable soup, had a short visit from her parents, went to K-mart for shower curtains and ear plugs, and spent 30 minutes testing all of our reflexes with a reflex hammer. It was glorious.

Color Me Red

2009-07-26T10:40:00.005-04:00

Last night on call I was involved in an emergent plastic surgery case, fixing the deep and gnarly injuries of someone who had gotten in a car accident. I got to stitch up an entire 6 inch section of a laceration, which was AWESOME. All things said and done, it was a pretty bloody case. So, anyway, after I woke from my post-call nap, I went directly to the CVS to buy some markers. (I didn't know what I wanted to do with my Ten-less day off, but I did know that I felt like coloring.) Anyway, walking through the school supplies aisle, I looked down and noticed that the bottom of my scrub pants were covered with blood.

I think I tell you this story to underscore how I often don't recognize my own life right now.

Now, a few thoughts on the new Crayola markers I purchased:
- Since when do Crayolas come in 10-marker packs? Where was I when they added gray and pink?
- Each marker has the color written in three languages: English, French, and Spanish. That's neat.
- They are so sharp! Is this new? Or is it just that I haven't had new markers since 1990?

In other news, there are a couple of new polls to the right.

Setadpu Morf JRW

2009-07-25T05:00:00.002-04:00

- In the last few days I've seen about a dozen hernia repairs and a finger amputation.
- I am on call tonight. Chocolate covered espresso beans? Check.
- The 'rents return from Peru today. I called them last week at their hotel. My dad ate guinea pig! He said it was fine except for the little remaining pieces of hay from the cage. I asked him if they brought the dish out on its running wheel. He said it wasn't that nice a restaurant.
- 18 more days of this rotation
- In the last week Ten has gone out 4 nights in a row with friends, and she's spending this weekend with old high school buddies in the Adirondacks. Am I jealous? Of course not.
- I'm so jealous.
- I have tomorrow off! Yay!!!

It Would Be Perjury to Say I Like Surgery

2009-07-18T04:29:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I saw a deep fem-posterior tibial bypass graft. It was cool - but a 6 hour surgery. My hunch muscles are s-o-r-e.

Today I work a half day and then drive up to Charlotte to see Ten! She has 2 friends visiting from out of town, and last night they went to the Willie Nelson/John Mellencamp/Bob Dylan concert. Today I will try my hardest to conceal my jealousy.

Conversation in the OR two days ago:

Important Surgeon Man: Where are you from?
EFC: Louisiana
ISM: Louisiana?!? Did you disclose that on your application?
EFC: Actually, no, because I was a Vermont resident when I applied.
ISM: That's what I thought. We wouldn't let in ANYONE from LOUISIANA!
EFC:

I Have No Urgery For Surgery

2009-07-15T04:33:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I saw a sebaceous cyst excision and the placement of a mediport. My favorite was the cyst excision because tons of nasty sebum squirted out of it. I think the surgeons are starting to recognize that I care more about gross, big, embarrassing, and dramatic things that I about regional anatomy and attendant physiology. At the end of the day, I'm just a rubber necker.

My new project is asking interns and residents why they went into surgery even though so many people are so mean. Everyone I've asked so far acknowledges that the culture had a not insignificant impact on their decision-making- but they went for it anyway.

My glasses:

Updates

2009-07-14T04:28:00.005-04:00

Another day, another hernia repair.

Ten and I had a great weekend, complete with a nap on the Woodstock green and a walk around Quechee Gorge. And we made cole slaw.

I don't understand why people in surgery (especially attendings) have to be so mean. What does it accomplish? Some of the stuff the attendings will say to the residents is downright insulting, and it would *never* fly anywhere but in this crazy, dream-world that is surgery.

29 more days

Updates

2009-07-10T04:24:00.002-04:00

- Yesterday I scrubbed in on a hemorrhoidectomy. This morning I'll see a hernia repair.
- Boo's coming down to WRJ tonight! Also Ten. While I'm on call all day Saturday, Ten will be buying me groceries, vacuuming my condo, changing my sheets, etc. Sounds like a really fun today for both of us.
- Only 33 days left of this rotation. Oh God, that sounds like a lot.
- My parents leave for Peru on Tuesday. I tried to send them a Peruvian language workbook, but you'd be shocked at how underrepresented the Peruvian language is on Amazon.

Updates

2009-07-07T04:51:00.002-04:00

- Last night, after a 34 hour marathon, I came home, fell onto the sofa, and slept for 9.5 hours. It was... ahhhhh... Interestingly, there's a federal law that caps interns' work hours at 30. Evidently not so for med students.
- I miss Ten horribly.
- The newspapers have been completely flooded by Michael Jackson's resignation and Sarah Palin's death. Anything else happening?
- Chocolate covered espresso beans
- Can I be a doctor who just takes care of ancient, adorable old women?

2009-07-03T04:39:00.001-04:00

Being told after working 37 hours straight that I should be finding time to do more reading makes me feel... oh, I don't know.

2009-07-01T04:41:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I saw a below the knee amputation (BKA). Wow. It looks pretty much like what you think it would look like. In other news, I spilled coffee all over my resident's notes first thing in the morning. Sigh. He said something that sounded like, "Christ," but it might have been "Nice" or "Coffee is such a Vice."

At least I had a string cheese in my lunch box, care of Ten.

I am crossing my fingers for a day off on Sunday. I'll practice suturing while listening to every NPR broadcast I've missed in the last week. Also I'll fluff up my self esteem which has been taking small but repetitive beatings over the last few days.

2009-06-30T04:23:00.003-04:00

I got to put two sutures in yesterday! It was a carpal tunnel operation. Today I'm seeing a below-the-knee-amputation (BKA) and a trans-metatarsal amputation (TMA). Yesterday I worked from 5 am to 7 pm, and this morning I am d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g. Note to self: don't go into surgery. (Unless you have carpal tunnel.)

Surgery

2009-06-28T19:43:00.004-04:00

I'm two days into my surgery rotation. My first day was also the intern's and residents' first day, so things have been a little hectic. Tomorrow I am reporting for duty at 5 am. So far I have gotten to participate in a toe amputation and an ulcer debridement, and I've taken out some staples. Wednesday is my first day/night on call, and I have no idea what to expect.

You'd think that if you were heading off for work in the wee hours with no cars on the road you could go 41 in a 30 mph zone, wouldn't you? Nope, you can't, as the tobacco-chewing officer who pulled me over this morning informed me.

I went to an optometrist with Ten on Saturday. Originally I wanted only cute frames so that I could try to look older and smarter. Ten convinced me to get an actual eye exam while I was there, so I did. The optometrist, after saying, "Oh, my. Oh, my my" during my test, informed me that I would not even be able to pass a driving test with my vision as it is. Fortunately I was able to hold myself back from giving the officer this news this morning.

Summer Vacation Is Over!

2009-06-22T18:35:00.006-04:00

Here are some pictures from the past week. It was a good break: a barbecue, a Day of Beauty with Ten, and a trip to New York to see my brother and college friends.

Third year began today.

Summer Vacation!

2009-06-16T07:37:00.003-04:00

Yay! I took my board exam yesterday (7:30 to 3:30). I was so nervous that I was short of breath the whole time; however, the boards were much less heinous than I feared. The only bad part about the exam was that the testing agency made us empty our pockets each time we entered the testing room. You wouldn't believe the junk I had amassed in my pockets over the last week. (Yes, hadn't laundered my pants in a week.) It was embarrassing.

But now I am freeeeee!! Last night Ten made me the meal of my choice. I asked for rosemary and olive oil bread, beet soup with the beets cut into little hearts, and a milk chocolate bar. She obliged. I'll post pictures of the beet soup soon.

Tonight Ten and I are throwing a celebratory BBQ. If you're within 200 square miles of us, please come!

Obama Trauma

2009-06-12T13:45:00.002-04:00

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

NYT editorial here

A Few More

2009-06-08T17:27:00.003-04:00

The best part of waking up, Boo the cat, the boys in the ADKs

Pictures

2009-06-08T17:19:00.002-04:00

Above are lupine from Ten's backyard, the Patty Griffin/Buddy Miller/Shawn Colvin/Emmylou Harris concert, Boo butting into our Scrabble game, and Ten and I ignoring caution tape in the ADKs.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T13:21:00.003-04:00

You couldn't ask for a prettier Memorial Day here in Dubs-R-J, Vermont. Today's plans include studying, not napping, buying a long extension cord so I can vacuum my rig, and buying some groceries.

My grocery list never changes. Here it is: 5 ready-tomorrow bananas, 1 carton of vanilla soy milk, 1 four-pack of cottage cheese, 1 box of Kashi hot cereal (any flavor but raisin spice), 1 cucumber (which I always intend to eat but never do), 6 cans of soup (specifically Wolfgang Puck tomato basil and Amy's no chicken noodle), 1 container of herb salad mix, 1 box of Triscuit rosemary and olive oil crackers, 1 twelve-pack of pomegranate Polar seltzer water, 2 Lake Champlain milk chocolate bars (which I always intend to eat and always do), and 1-2 Amy's vegan frozen pizzas. I could successfully work my way through the grocery store blind at this point.

I spent this past weekend in the Adirondacks, eating Ten's dad's soup, napping, and helping Ten's parents move the living room furniture. It was fun. And I learned something new about Ten: she becomes quite the dictator when it comes time to rearrange a room! Castro of the cushion, if you will. Salazar of the sofa. Future ruler of the Ottoman empire, I think.

I suppose I'm just going to let her handle that part of our relationship (along with car repair, home repair, banking, laundry, cleaning, cooking, pet duties, and making the bed).

I have been so sleepy lately!! Surely Ten's parents think I'm a slacker because every time I start to study I doze off. I can't figure out what's going on. I'm getting enough sleep each night, but I wake up every morning feeling like I could sleep for another four hours. I think I have a neurodegenerative condition, but Ten thinks I'm just lazy. (Who does she think she is? The Stalin of sleep? Mussolini of motivation?)

In other news, my lap top sounds like a helicopter landing, and I fear its days may be numbered. Why does it seem like the more expensive an item, the shorter its life? I'm starting to regret having cost my parents so much money all these years...

I'm Halfway Through!

2009-05-18T16:20:00.004-04:00

I'm done with second year! I finished my last final Saturday afternoon and sped up to Charlotte to spend the rest of the weekend with Ten. Par usual, she put me to work weeding and planting and raking in the sun. I should have told her my exams ended Sunday.

I thought Ten knew that the end of my second year was a big deal for me, but all she did was put up streamers and buy me flowers and serve me champagne and write me a nice card and take me out to dinner. Some people are so unfathomably self-centered.

The next hurdle: the B-O-A-R-D-S, also known as Boards-Originating Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. I took a sample test today and I failed swimmingly, so I clearly have some work to do.

Also, well done, blog readers! I'm quite fond of Spastic Colon. Any ideas what our first cover should be? "Colon Me"? "The Wipe Stuff"? "Whoop, There It Is"?

Hello From Renal Conference

2009-05-12T09:17:00.004-04:00

My renal conference leader sure likes to talk! And the more he talks the more confused I get. So now I'm purposefully not listening and nodding my head and smiling occasionally to be polite. (I learned how to do this in church.) Today is my second to last day of class! Alright! It's going to be a good day because Ten bought me an artichoke for my dinner. Does anyone know how long ones boils an artichoke? I'm sure it's an art, and I don't want to choke.

I'm super surprised at how tight this week's poll is. Thanks to all of you for your continued participation.

If you have 15 spare minutes, listen to Dan Savage's piece on This American Life.

Guns Suck

2009-05-08T15:34:00.001-04:00

Currently, an estimated 34.5% of households have a gun, while 24% have a handgun.

In 2004, firearms were used to murder 56 people in Australia, 184 people in Canada, 73 people in England and Wales, 5 people in New Zealand, and 37 people in Sweden. In comparison, firearms were used to murder 11,344 in the United States.

In 2006, nearly 9 children and teenagers, ages 19 and under, were killed with guns everyday.

In 2007, there were only *198* justifiable homicides by private citizens using firearms in the United States.

For every time a gun is used in a home in a legally-justifiable shooting [note that not every self-defense is legally justifiable] there are 22 criminal, unintentional, and suicide-related shootings.

Good Night!

2009-05-07T19:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got a hair cut. (I knew my hair had grown too long because Ten was starting to like how my hair looked.) My hairdresser provided me with a cut that perfectly frames the 8 or so gray hairs that come out right in the middle of my forehead. (Well, not right in the middle of my forehead. Oh, you know what I mean.) I really like the look because I appear wise and old. (Not as old as Ten, but she's t-h-i-r-t-y, after all.)

Ten's and my parents are going to meet at Thanksgiving! I'll be hosting here at the WRJ condo. While most children worry about their parents embarrassing them at such events, I think Ten and I are more worried about embarrassing our parents. (Yes, we are considering wearing matching cornucopia-inspired outfits.)

On Monday and Tuesday of this week I got 1 IV put in, 3 Tb tests, and 3 phlebotomies. I'm like a voodoo doll. Except hopefully not as creepy.

Saturday night Ten and I are hosting a dinner party. We will serve vegetarian chili. In addition to making the chili, Ten is going to vacuuum my living room and go grocery shopping for me. (Ten! Pick up the Beano!)

I am so happy with the results of the latest poll (since I'm planning on going to bed in fifteen minutes.) It was close, but I am vindicated. Yes, I go to bed at 8:01. Judge me if you wish, but the majority of my blog readers think it's fine.

Monday, Bloody Monday

2009-05-04T18:57:00.004-04:00

The wedding in Charleston was fun, although Ten and I were by far the least cool people there. (I think that's something we have to get used to. Or at least Ten does.) Ten was a wonderful bridesmaid, and I was a wonderful ridesmaid (I rented a Chevy Cobalt and transported the bridal party this way and that), and aside from a 6-hour flight delay getting down there, everything went swimmingly. (We didn't do any swimming. But I did put Ten on my back and carry her across a rivulet, and don't think I let her forget that for the rest of the weekend.)

Today I learned how to put in an IV (hence this post's title.) There are more steps than I thought there would be. Fortunately, this afternoon was most likely the first and last time I will perform that act in my medical career. (There are teams of nurses who specialize in IV insertion. Doctors don't really know how to do anything.)

Life consists in what a [person] is thinking of all day. -Ralph Waldo Emerson